Monday, January 22, 2007
F&#K You
(Note: It isn’t possible to tell this story without the use of profanity. If this upsets you, read no further.)
That was the message I was greeted with during breakfast last week. Let me explain.
Stoker Kim and I were enjoying a short trip to Miami Beach. Specifically, we were staying in South Beach and attended the large Miami Beach Antique Show and attended to other recreational pursuits.
Now, I know what to expect in South Beach. This is known to be a very liberal area with an “anything goes” attitude. Gays were welcomed to openly display their affections here long before most other places and it is a known playground for our cultural glitterati. However, in spite of being largely incompatible with Miami Beach I always have a great time there.
But one seemingly minor occurrence upset me. On Saturday morning, January 13, 2007, at approximately 9:45 AM, Stoker Kim and I were enjoying breakfast outdoors at “News Café” on Ocean Drive when a small group of three young ladies with several children in tow sat near us. The three women were adults, approximately in their late 20s or early 30s and appeared to be Caucasian and possibly Hispanic (but I can’t confirm their ethnic background).
One of the three was wearing a tank top with the words “FUCK YOU” written across her upper back. I checked this closely and that is what it said. I am not mistaking those two words for the clothing brand “FCUK” or some other play on words. That is clearly what it said and this was confirmed by several other persons including the manager of the restaurant.
Now, why would this upset me so? Let’s examine this situation.
There are events in this world that come to be seen as “tipping points”: something that, once occurring, breaks the way for other similar occurrences to be repeated and eventually become commonplace. In other words, something happens that is rare or unheard of and then, suddenly, it is repeated routinely. If these words become commonly displayed in public on articles of clothing, this event will certainly become recognized as a “tipping point”.
We currently live within norms of style and decorum. The display of these two words to the general public was, previous to this, well outside the bounds of these norms. By wearing this shirt in public this person, who I assume thought she was being very hip with her profane tank top, made the conscious decision to insult everyone within the range of eyesight. Without regard to other’s sensitivity to the issue she determined that she could broadcast her vulgarity directly to all persons unfortunate enough to occupy the same space as her.
OK, but why make such a big deal of it. If she wants to wear this shirt, what business is it of mine? As the manager at “News Cafe” told me, “I can’t tell people what to wear”.
The answer is because we are a freedom-loving society and, because of this, we live with a constant clash of freedoms. My freedom to smoke in a public building infringes on someone else’s freedom to breathe air uncontaminated by the residue of my smoking. My freedom to listen to loud music at 3 AM clashes with my neighbor’s freedom to get a good night’s sleep.
There are thousands of other examples where someone’s freedom to do something is in conflict with someone else’s freedom not to be disturbed by it. The only way we are able to efficiently coexist is through respect of the freedoms of others. I don’t play loud music at 3 AM because I respect my neighbor’s desire for sleep. I voluntarily don’t smoke in areas where nonsmokers are gathered to avoid impacting their freedom to breathe smoke-free air.
But not this adult woman. She made the conscious decision to wear a shirt that stepped on everyone’s freedom and desire not to be accosted by rude and vulgar insults. She was just fine with this situation and probably considers her vulgarity to be a form of sophisticated performance art. But, her unthinking and rude behavior trod on the freedoms of almost everyone at the restaurant who wanted nothing more than a good breakfast on a pleasant Saturday morning.
If this is truly a “tipping point” then we can expect her shocking behavior to be copied by others until it becomes commonplace. Shirt manufactures will jump at the chance to produce a line of shirts with these words as the young, hip, and mindless buy them up.
It will then be acceptable to display clothing (or bumper stickers, signs and billboards) that say anything, no matter how vulgar or insulting to others unfortunate enough to come within the range. She has created another type of pollution: visual pollution that insults and fouls the atmosphere as surely as a cigar in an airplane cabin.
But, while our liberal elite are quick to pounce on the cigar or cigarette smoker I doubt if they will take action against such displays. After all, doesn’t she have a First Amendment right to her freedom of speech?
Maybe so. But, again, I would like to take this discussion back to the “clash of freedoms”. We can exist together because we respect each other’s freedoms to the point of restricting our behavior in order to not infringe on the freedoms of others. This, after all, is a pretty good definition of courtesy. And the opposite is rudeness. And that is the “tipping point”: the acceptance of rudeness defined as the total lack of concern for the freedoms of others.
If this woman’s method of expression becomes the norm then we can all expect our lives to become less enjoyable as we are continually bombarded with profane and vulgar expressions in everyday life.
Da Captain
Update
On Saturday, March 24, 2007, Stoker Kim and I had the unfortunate experience of observing, once again, the ultimate in offensive clothing. This time we were on a walking tour of Greenwich Village, New York. We were on Commerce St. with our tour group when a young man, approximately late 20s, exited his apartment wearing an orange T-shirt emblazoned with the words “GO FUCK YOURSELF” in large, bold black letters. I felt compelled to utter, “Same to you pal”, as I walked by.
Additional Update
Additional confirmation of the degradation of public manners is evidenced by the “Fuck You” T-shirt worn by Cynthia Rodriguez, wife of Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez, to a Yankee game on Sunday, July 1, 2007. This highly publicized and public display of obliviousness to the rights of other persons not to be indiscriminately insulted by mindless profanity provides further support for my original post on this subject.
That was the message I was greeted with during breakfast last week. Let me explain.
Stoker Kim and I were enjoying a short trip to Miami Beach. Specifically, we were staying in South Beach and attended the large Miami Beach Antique Show and attended to other recreational pursuits.
Now, I know what to expect in South Beach. This is known to be a very liberal area with an “anything goes” attitude. Gays were welcomed to openly display their affections here long before most other places and it is a known playground for our cultural glitterati. However, in spite of being largely incompatible with Miami Beach I always have a great time there.
But one seemingly minor occurrence upset me. On Saturday morning, January 13, 2007, at approximately 9:45 AM, Stoker Kim and I were enjoying breakfast outdoors at “News Café” on Ocean Drive when a small group of three young ladies with several children in tow sat near us. The three women were adults, approximately in their late 20s or early 30s and appeared to be Caucasian and possibly Hispanic (but I can’t confirm their ethnic background).
One of the three was wearing a tank top with the words “FUCK YOU” written across her upper back. I checked this closely and that is what it said. I am not mistaking those two words for the clothing brand “FCUK” or some other play on words. That is clearly what it said and this was confirmed by several other persons including the manager of the restaurant.
Now, why would this upset me so? Let’s examine this situation.
There are events in this world that come to be seen as “tipping points”: something that, once occurring, breaks the way for other similar occurrences to be repeated and eventually become commonplace. In other words, something happens that is rare or unheard of and then, suddenly, it is repeated routinely. If these words become commonly displayed in public on articles of clothing, this event will certainly become recognized as a “tipping point”.
We currently live within norms of style and decorum. The display of these two words to the general public was, previous to this, well outside the bounds of these norms. By wearing this shirt in public this person, who I assume thought she was being very hip with her profane tank top, made the conscious decision to insult everyone within the range of eyesight. Without regard to other’s sensitivity to the issue she determined that she could broadcast her vulgarity directly to all persons unfortunate enough to occupy the same space as her.
OK, but why make such a big deal of it. If she wants to wear this shirt, what business is it of mine? As the manager at “News Cafe” told me, “I can’t tell people what to wear”.
The answer is because we are a freedom-loving society and, because of this, we live with a constant clash of freedoms. My freedom to smoke in a public building infringes on someone else’s freedom to breathe air uncontaminated by the residue of my smoking. My freedom to listen to loud music at 3 AM clashes with my neighbor’s freedom to get a good night’s sleep.
There are thousands of other examples where someone’s freedom to do something is in conflict with someone else’s freedom not to be disturbed by it. The only way we are able to efficiently coexist is through respect of the freedoms of others. I don’t play loud music at 3 AM because I respect my neighbor’s desire for sleep. I voluntarily don’t smoke in areas where nonsmokers are gathered to avoid impacting their freedom to breathe smoke-free air.
But not this adult woman. She made the conscious decision to wear a shirt that stepped on everyone’s freedom and desire not to be accosted by rude and vulgar insults. She was just fine with this situation and probably considers her vulgarity to be a form of sophisticated performance art. But, her unthinking and rude behavior trod on the freedoms of almost everyone at the restaurant who wanted nothing more than a good breakfast on a pleasant Saturday morning.
If this is truly a “tipping point” then we can expect her shocking behavior to be copied by others until it becomes commonplace. Shirt manufactures will jump at the chance to produce a line of shirts with these words as the young, hip, and mindless buy them up.
It will then be acceptable to display clothing (or bumper stickers, signs and billboards) that say anything, no matter how vulgar or insulting to others unfortunate enough to come within the range. She has created another type of pollution: visual pollution that insults and fouls the atmosphere as surely as a cigar in an airplane cabin.
But, while our liberal elite are quick to pounce on the cigar or cigarette smoker I doubt if they will take action against such displays. After all, doesn’t she have a First Amendment right to her freedom of speech?
Maybe so. But, again, I would like to take this discussion back to the “clash of freedoms”. We can exist together because we respect each other’s freedoms to the point of restricting our behavior in order to not infringe on the freedoms of others. This, after all, is a pretty good definition of courtesy. And the opposite is rudeness. And that is the “tipping point”: the acceptance of rudeness defined as the total lack of concern for the freedoms of others.
If this woman’s method of expression becomes the norm then we can all expect our lives to become less enjoyable as we are continually bombarded with profane and vulgar expressions in everyday life.
Da Captain
Update
On Saturday, March 24, 2007, Stoker Kim and I had the unfortunate experience of observing, once again, the ultimate in offensive clothing. This time we were on a walking tour of Greenwich Village, New York. We were on Commerce St. with our tour group when a young man, approximately late 20s, exited his apartment wearing an orange T-shirt emblazoned with the words “GO FUCK YOURSELF” in large, bold black letters. I felt compelled to utter, “Same to you pal”, as I walked by.
Additional Update
Additional confirmation of the degradation of public manners is evidenced by the “Fuck You” T-shirt worn by Cynthia Rodriguez, wife of Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez, to a Yankee game on Sunday, July 1, 2007. This highly publicized and public display of obliviousness to the rights of other persons not to be indiscriminately insulted by mindless profanity provides further support for my original post on this subject.
